Pants 0. Shit 1.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Panties = found
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