Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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