just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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