and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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