worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
