you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
