This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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