all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
