the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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