Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
