what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
