Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
