I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
