That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
