At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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