Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
