I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
