Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I am spending my child support on dildos
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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