I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
