i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
