Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
