my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
