her facebook's as public as her vagina
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
