and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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