I skipped work to stalk him.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
