Fuck appropriateness.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
