i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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