I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
