dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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