Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
