I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
