i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
