Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
