Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
