before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
