I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
