Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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