Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
