New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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