I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we're making bets on your personal life
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
