Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
