i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
