ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
