she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
