Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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