I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize
