There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
