Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
