you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
