By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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