he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
