Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
