Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
