1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
worst night to have a conscience
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
