I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
