Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I supernannyed him into submission
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
