Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
